October 3rd, 1970

    Amsterdam was the fourth city on the Dutch Missing Persons tour, with a show on October first and third. Thursday night had been a raving success; not only because of the band’s performance but also due to the appearance of Yan Jansen.
    Yan was a popular Dutch guitarist, also in a progressive rock band, and his presence backstage hadn’t been taken lightly. Cameron was the first to speak with him but by the time Willie approached the pair, Cameron had already gained Yan’s praise as a musician.
    Cameron and I had gone to our hotel room feeling good, after all, Yan was known as a talented and picky man so to be praised by him was something to be proud of. Yet, while Cameron spoke excitedly to me from the room, a deep sense of worry set in my chest.

    The next morning I woke next to Cameron, the feeling still with me. He had most of his day planned as he was needed for some band business that would occupy a large portion of the day. I assured him I didn’t mind, and said I would do some sightseeing and window shopping around Amsterdam.
    Instead, I waited until Cameron had left and took a taxi to the hospital. Once I arrived, I explained why I was there and was brought to see a doctor.

    “What is making you come to that conclusion?” the doctor asked me.
    He watched me carefully, so I lowered my gaze and stared at the notepad on the desk. “I’m on the pill and I never miss a dose. But we don’t use anything else,” I told him.
    “No condom use?”
    “No,” I answered.
    “Your menstruations?” The doctor was rapid-firing questions at me, but I did my best to stay calm enough to answer them.

    “Haven’t had them. I’m usually mid-month, a little spotting,” I explained.

    The doctor nodded and put down his pen. “Give this to the secretary,” he said as he handed me a paper. I stared at it, willing myself not to cry. “You’ll get a test today.”

    I was thankful that the nurse I’d seen was a woman; she seemed to understand the feelings I was going through. I was told to come back the next afternoon for the results.


    “Miss Dupont?”
    I suppressed a shiver at the sound of my last name, instead looking up and meeting the gaze of a nurse. “If you will come with me,” she beckoned.
    I stood and took a deep breath as I followed her down the corridor I had been in yesterday. She led me to a bed, surrounded by a privacy curtain, and told me that a doctor would be with me shortly.
    When he arrived, I greeted him and tried to sound more stable than I felt. “Hello, Doctor.”
    “Hello, Miss,” he answered cordially. “I suppose you are anxious for the results?”
    “Anxiety is definitely one of the emotions I’m feeling,” I retorted under my breath.
    “The test came back positive,” he spoke with a reassuring smile. “Congratulations.”
    I felt my face drop before the panic gripped me. “Dear Lord,” I mumbled, putting my hand on over my eyes.
    “Are you alright, Miss?” the doctor asked worriedly. “Do you feel ill?”
    “No, no, I’m fine,” I insisted. “I’ll be fine. Thank you, Doctor.”


    I had left the hospital forty five minutes after hearing the results; a nurse had seen my distress and urged me to calm myself before leaving. By the time I got to the hotel and went up to our room, Cameron had already arrived.
    “How are you, my love?” he asked when I greeted him. I felt blessed that his back was turned to me as he bent over the desk, most likely writing.
    ‘Terrified.’
    “Good,” I answered. “Just went around, looking at some sights.”
    “See anything good?” he asked absentmindedly, still concentrating on the task at hand.
    “Yes,” I replied, sitting down on the bed. “It’s beautiful here.” Suddenly I was very aware of the feeling in the pit of my stomach. Life.
    “You sure you’re alright?”
    I could hear him stand and push the chair back towards the desk. “Just something I ate, I guess. I feel a bit wonky.” Well, it wasn’t a complete lie, but I still felt the sting of deceiving him.
    “Why don’t you sleep for a bit?” Cameron suggested. He was at the foot of the bed, now.
    “I probably should.”
    He walked around to the side I was laying on and bent over me, kissing my forehead. “I’m off to the hall,” he informed me. “Soundcheck is in an hour. Stay here tonight, if you’d like.”
    I gave him a weak smile and he kissed my forehead once more.
    “I’ll be back at midnight.” Cameron turned to leave the room and I closed my eyes. Once the door closed behind him, I waited until I couldn’t hear his footsteps anymore.
    I let out the breath I’d been holding, it came out in a sob. I wasn’t fearful that Cameron would react badly to what I’d heard today, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t afraid.
    ‘What am I going to do?’