November 9th, 1971
“Did you sleep well?” I
asked Cameron as I walked back into the room. I’d just gotten out of the
shower but he was still laying in bed, looking disheveled.
“Well enough,” Cameron answered with a huff as he sat up. He rubbed his face and pushed his hair back before turning to me. “You?”
I sat down beside him as I told him I’d slept deeply. “I was warm, too. You kept pulling me into you,” I added with a smile.
Cameron smiled, though a hint of shyness could be seen on his face. “Not shocking, given what I dreamt of.”
“Which was?”
“Your house, when you were a child.” His voice was quiet, but he met my gaze. “I didn’t go inside, or anything like that,” he added quickly. “I just stood on the street looking at it. Were the shutters red?”
I thought for a moment. “No, they were white,” I answered. “Well, they were grey but they started out white. Why?”
“They were dark red. In my dream, at least.”
I huffed, wondering what that meant. Oftentimes when Cameron dreamt of something, it was or would be significant.
“Is it nearby?” he inquired after a short moment.
I shrugged. “Near Lil’s house, maybe half an hour by car from here.” I could see his mind working, so I kissed his shoulder. “What is it?”
“Might you bring me to see it?” Cameron asked cautiously, but it still surprised me into silence. “But not if you’re uncomfortable with it, Emily,” he added, seeing my face.
“I don’t know why you’d want to see it, that’s all,” I explained slowly. “There’s nothing special, or even good, about it.”
I didn’t have to look at Cameron to know he was searching his mind for the right words, so I waited patiently for him to find them.
“I can’t quite pin it down, if I’m honest,” he admitted. “I feel like I should go see it, even if I don’t need to.”
I nodded resignedly. Even if he didn’t have a sure reason for wanting to see the house, I had even less of one for a refusal. “We could,” I said, accepting defeat. “When, though?”
“I’ll leave that up to you.”
I bit my lip, but decided quickly. “We’ll be at her house tonight, but I’d rather sooner than later. So I don’t have to think about it all day,” I added with a chuckle at my own expense.
I’d worried Cameron with my tone, I found, when he insisted that we didn’t need to go if I didn’t want to. I really didn’t, but I knew I would feel worse later on if I weaseled away from it. Liliane’s house was less than five minutes from Howard Street and we’d be there later; it would be worse to go then.
“No, it’s okay,” I assured him. “You’re right. Maybe we should, even if we don’t need to.”
Before we could take a taxi to Howard Street, Cameron had to ensure everything was arranged for the flight tomorrow. Everyone was returning to Scotland for one month’s rest, other than Lee, Cameron, and myself.
I wasn’t oblivious to how Liliane was with Lee, but I was still surprised when she asked to speak with me privately during last night’s show.
“Is something wrong?”
Liliane avoided my worried look and frowned. “You’re leaving in two days,” she reminded me.
“I know.” I smiled in an attempt to make her feel better, but it didn’t work. “Time flies. Four days isn’t enough.”
“No, it isn’t…” Liliane glanced towards the door, but I knew she was looking through it, seeing the stage in her mind. “Do you think you could stay?” she asked hurriedly. “Only if you can, though, I know it’s not always easy to rearrange things.”
“Aren’t you back at work on Thursday?” I asked.
“I have vacation days,” she told me immediately. “And I’ve got room at the house for you, and Cameron.” Her eyes darted away from mine. “And Lee.”
I laughed, receiving only a glare from my sister. “It’s nice to be proven right,” I explained. “You care about him more than you’ll admit.”
“Stop gloating,” she spat. “Will you ask Cameron?”
I nodded. “I’ll ask him.”
We had managed to set things up to extend our stay by a week, though with some difficulty and under conditions from the band’s management: we were to finance our extra week and return tickets ourselves. With Liliane able to house and feed us it wasn’t an issue, so we agreed and consequently called the airport to reserve three tickets on a flight bound for Scotland on the eighteenth.
Cameron and I were in the taxi, heading over the bridge leading out of the island of Montreal, when he asked about Lee’s reaction to the news. I had informed him of the change of plans this morning, while Cameron was hammering out last minute details.
“Lee? He was thrilled,” I answered with a chuckle. “I’d almost say he was more excited than my sister.”
Cameron shook his head reprovingly. “I’d likely agree with you on that. He walked right up to me and hugged me at breakfast,” he said through a laugh.
“You should have seen his face when he asked me where he’d be sleeping, if you and I were taking the guest room. It was like switching on the light in a cellar.”
I laughed at the memory, but Cameron didn’t have time to reply. The driver pulled to a stop and announced that we’d arrived at the destination, which I’d given as a park on Davis Boulevard. I wanted to demand he take us back to the hotel, but I swallowed my discomfort to instead thank him and hand over the fare.
Cameron looked slightly confused, I noticed, when I turned to him. I knew what he was wondering, so I explained before he could ask. “It’s a few blocks down.”
He nodded and took my hand. “Lead the way,” he said encouragingly.
I smiled at him despite myself and did just that, bringing us within a half dozen houses of mine before I spoke.
“I don’t really know what I should be feeling,” I admitted in a mumble. “I’m not even sure if I’m feeling anything in the first place.”
Cameron squeezed my hand. “Don’t think, then. I’m here, remember?” he smiled. “I’ll think for you.”
I laughed aloud, and felt minutely better. I could see the house, now, but I felt detached from all the memories centered there. We came to a stop on the sidewalk and I noticed the park bench was still there; I’d often sat out here with Mark when I was refused permission to meander around the neighborhood.
“It’s quite nondescript,” Cameron noted.
“You’ve seen it before,” I reminded him. “Although I would have liked to tell you that seeing something in a dream doesn’t really count, apparently it does.”
“Red shutters,” he whispered. He tore his gaze away from the house after a moment and sat down on the bench, pulling me close to him. I knew he was turning his dream over in his mind; he was often just as interested as I was in how accurate he could be at times.
We didn’t speak much. In any case, I didn’t know what I could say while being so close to the house I’d grown up in. After a while, a young teenager on a bicycle came to a stop a few feet away and greeted us in French.
“Do you live at 1727?” he asked, pointing to the neighboring home.
I glanced over to it, briefly remembering the inhabitants I’d known. “No,” I said with a shake of my head.
The boy let out an exaggerated sigh, so I asked what the problem was. “I have a book for Mrs. Henderson, but she didn’t answer when I came by earlier. Do you know her?”
“I used to.”
“Do you think you could give this to her? I have to go see my brother.” The boy handed me a thick magazine with a ball of yarn pictured on the cover. “It’s from my mom, Louise.”
“I’ll let her know,” I assured him.
The boy thanked me and got back on his bike, quickly gaining the speed that led him out of sight.
“What’s that?” Cameron asked, his eyebrows raised.
I’d momentarily forgotten that Cameron had little notion of French, and explained the conversation to him. He nodded and urged me to knock on her door. “She’d be happy to see you, if she was your neighbour then,” he encouraged.
I stood with a sigh. “Only one way to find out.”
Cameron followed me as I made my way up the path to Mrs. Henderson’s front door. It took her a long minute to answer, which she did by pulling back the curtain on the door’s small window. Since her husband died five years ago, she’d become more wary of visitors but was always welcoming to those she knew.
“Emily!” she exclaimed as the door opened. “My goodness, what brings you here?” She smiled sweetly at me and took my hand in hers, squeezing gently.
I handed her the magazine with a smile. “Louise’s son came by with this for you.”
She took it from me, and promptly rolled it into a tube and smacked my arm. “Don’t be smart with me,” she warned teasingly. “Your sister told me you’d left the country, last I spoke with her.”
“I did. I live in Scotland now,” I answered with a glance at Cameron. “We’re only here for about a week, so Cameron and his group can do a performance downtown.”
“How lovely! Kathleen would be so happy for you, Emily. She loved you dearly, and she loved Scotland, as well.” Mrs Henderson’s eyes flickered with regret and she frowned as she spoke. “I’m very sorry to have missed her funeral, dear. I was in Ottawa with my niece and her family, and I didn’t return until June.”
“It’s alright, Mrs. Henderson. Gran wouldn’t hold it against you, and neither do I and Liliane,” I assured her with a smile.
“Thank you, dear. Is your sister still living in that bungalow on Landry?”
I nodded. “Yes, she’s still there. Cameron and I will be staying with her until the weekend,” I informed her, “if you ever want to stop by for a coffee.”
Mrs. Henderson thanked me for the invitation, and I politely declined her offer of tea for myself and Cameron. I told her that we had to head back downtown and ready everything for the performance, which she heartily agreed was important. We bid her goodbye and I silently thanked the cosmos that she hadn’t asked what the performance would be.
Liliane’s skin was flushed red as the band rushed back onto the stage for the final encore. Lee, quite obviously, was the reason for this; he’d come off the stage, drank a glass of water followed by a shot of whiskey, and kissed her until the encore call was shouted.
"Where the hell did that come from?" she mumbled eventually.
"I'd say he's excited to be spending the night," I said with a wink. I walked over to the table covered in bottles and poured myself a glass of wine.
Liliane followed me and did the same. "Still, I wasn't expecting that," she admitted.
I looked at her with a raised eyebrow and a dubious expression. "You tied up your hair earlier and he nearly had to cross his legs," I reminded her. She hissed my name angrily, which made me laugh. "What? You don't want to sleep with him?"
"Of course I do," she muttered shyly. I could tell from her face that not only did she want to but she already had. "I just don't—"
"Are you going to let yourself be miserable because you're afraid?" I asked. I realized once I'd spoken that my tone was harsher than I'd intended, so I softened it. "You're thinking too much, Lil, and your track record with overthinking isn't the best. Let yourself be happy," I told her firmly. "It's the least you can for yourself."
We didn't speak much, after that, but stood watching the band. The final song was coming to an end, and I shared the mixed feelings behind the band's driving finish. We'd been travelling from city to city since August, but this was only the halfway point, if that. We still had Europe ahead of us.
Luckily, the band's exhilaration seeped into my mind and I forgot about the second leg of the tour, instead popping a champagne bottle and loudly proclaiming the end to a successful venture.
It was near midnight when we all got to the hotel. We had reiterated, when making the plans for the extended stay, that the rest of the band was welcome to join us, but the thought of spending their time off away from home wasn't appealing to Willie, Dale, or Colin.
I called the reception desk from our room, where everyone had convened to part ways, and asked for a taxi to be called. This first taxi would bring Lee and my sister to her house ahead of Cameron and I, and once they’d said goodbye— my sister hugged the three men and told them to enjoy the time off but Lee shook their hands without much added fuss— left with their luggage, we were left to coordinate.
“You all have the house number?” I asked again. I knew they did, I’d written Liliane’s phone number in each of their journals myself. The three of them nodded and I did the same. “Call if there’s anything, we’re leaving Thursday morning.”
Dale gave me a thumbs up and hugged me. “Don’t get into too much trouble, Emily,” he teased.
“Look who’s talking!” I retorted with a laugh. “Have a good flight home, and we’ll see you next week.”
With that, Dale shook hands with Cameron and left us, walking off towards his own room. I had no doubt he’d go right to bed; he always struggled to sleep once onboard a plane. When Cameron began to speak with Willie, I sat down on the edge of the bed and beckoned Colin to join me.
“Well, you survived the first leg, Colin,” I said to him, my tone congratulatory. “You did a great job.”
He smiled shyly. “Thank you. It wasn’t like I thought it would be,” he admitted. “Being away from home for so many months has been a little odd, usually I’m not gone for more than six weeks.”
It had been four months since we’d left Scotland, and I knew the emotions he was facing; I’d dealt with them myself last year. “You’ll be home and settled in two days’ time,” I reminded him, hoping it was a comfort. “You’re still staying in Balmedie at Lee’s house, right?”
Colin nodded. “Thankfully, yes,” he chuckled.
I paused, wondering whether or not to ask, but Colin didn’t notice my hesitation. “Would you be able to do me a favour?” I blurted out.
“As long as it’s less complicated than that,” he replied with a nod towards Cameron. He was giving Willie detailed instructions to bring our mail— currently being held at the Aberdeen post office— to Joan’s house, and to inform her of our delayed arrival.
“It’s much less complicated,” I assured him, laughing. “Do you remember Steve, from the recording? Steve Todd,” I added, hoping the name was familiar to him.
Colin’s brow furrowed as he thought, and his eyes widened when he spoke. “Yes, I do! He was drumming during the switch to me, wasn’t he?”
I kept thoughts of Clyde, and his wife, Sylvia, at bay. It wasn’t the moment to delve back into the mess that had brought Coin to us. “That’s him,” I confirmed. “I’ve been wondering about him for a bit, and I sent him a letter a few weeks ago to say that I’d drop by this weekend,” I explained.
Colin nodded, understanding. “But you won’t be back for another week.”
“Yes. Could you give him a call and let him know? I’d send a letter but I’m sure we’d arrive before it would, and I don’t want to be a no-show without telling him.”
There was no hesitation in Colin’s accepting my request, and I thanked him for it. I copied Steve’s home number onto a page in my journal, which I promptly ripped out and handed to him, just as Cameron and Willie ended their discussion.
“Have a safe flight, and call if there’s anything,” Cameron repeated as the two of them walked into the hall. “We’ll be off within the hour.”
We sat in the sunroom; it was only Cameron and I, so we claimed the wicker loveseat. The taxi had dropped us off ten minutes ago but we delayed going inside the house, either for another moment of solitude between us or an attempt at privacy for Lee and Liliane. Maybe both, come to think of it.
“Are you disappointed?” I asked quietly.
Cameron looked at me quizzically. “What would I be disappointed about?”
I shrugged, trying to diminish the question. “I guess I thought you’d want to celebrate. Not just you, but everyone,” I added quickly. “First part of the tour is over, the first time on this side of the ocean…”
I wasn’t sure what I could say without sounding foolish. I’d felt a slight rumble of distaste more than once recently, but I wasn’t sure what it was about or who was feeling it.
Cameron took my hand in his and kissed the back of my hand. “It’s more like precaution, rather than not wanting to celebrate. If you get too cocky and self-important, you might make a fool of yourself next time you’re on stage,” he elaborated. “We’ve still got Europe, after all. I’m sure we’ll have a fitting party when that’s all said and done.”
I nodded slowly, and looked at Cameron when he said my name quietly.
“Don’t fret over it, sweetheart. Colin’s too nice to be peeved over it, but the other two have no issue throwing daggers with their eyes,” he muttered. “I think seeing Lee float with happiness is a little too much for them.”
“It’s both of them?” I wondered, but shook my head. “Doesn’t matter.”
“No, it doesn’t. Because he is happy, and so is your sister.”
I smiled, and my backstage conversation with Liliane came to mind. “I told her to stop making herself miserable, while you guys were playing,” I told him in a whisper. “She’s been alone for too long. I hope she’ll listen to me.”
Though my tone was solemn, Cameron put his hand on my cheek and kissed me. “Let’s go inside and find out,” he suggested.
After two hours of chatting and nearly a dozen cups of tea between the four of us, Liliane was the first to succumb to fatigue. We had no plans for concrete tomorrow so she warned me against waking her up before nine o’clock. She wrangled me into promising her I wouldn’t, then went to her bedroom with Lee.
Cameron yawned, his eyes shut tight and his shirt lifting an inch to expose his stomach. I took advantage and lightly dragged my finger across his skin, just below his navel. His eyes snapped open and he raised an eyebrow.
“You can’t be indecent around me and not expect me to do something about it,” I explained defensively. “Let’s go sleep,” I added, my tone clearly expressing my longing for a warm bed.
Without a word, Cameron took my hand and led me down the hallway. Liliane had given him the tour when we arrived, and though it was only a one storey house, he had committed it to memory. We changed into pyjamas in silence but as I crawled into bed, Cameron suggested we turn the radio on at a low volume.
“I don’t want to sleep just yet,” he murmured in explanation.
I agreed; quiet music didn’t bother me even if I was trying to sleep. The bed was freshly made and the sheets smelled of laundry detergent, which mixed well with Cameron’s own smell— thankfully, he’d showered earlier, as had Lee.
We’d only spoken a few sentences in hushed tones, pausing at times to listen to a verse on the radio, when my sister’s loud chortle overtook our own words. I raised an eyebrow at Cameron, and he clearly was thinking the same thing as I was. She laughed again, and Lee’s guffaw made an entrance.
“Wanna see something?” I asked, though I didn’t want for his reply. I got out of bed and walked into the hallway, leaving the bedroom door open so he could hear me. Liliane’s room was at the end of the hall, on the opposite side. I knocked loudly on her door and feigned worry. “Are you guys okay?”
Silence, then my sister’s stern tone. “Yes.”
“Do you need anything?” I inquired, my face close to the door frame. “A snack, refreshments? Condoms?”
“Emily. Leave us alone,” Liliane spat.
I held back laughter and increased my faked wariness. “It’s the alone part that I’m worried about, Lil!”
“Emily.” My sister’s tone was hard as steel. “Go. Away.”
I sighed exaggeratedly. “Alright,” I said, then brought back the whining worry. “Do you need a safe word, though? It’s always a good idea to have one!” I spoke in a flurry of words, but I did hear Cameron’s subdued laughter from the other room. “I’d suggest pineapple, you know, not too many reasons to be talking about pineap—”
Liliane interrupted me, a furious hiss. “I will maim you!”
I let out a short laugh and sighed again. “Good night, then!” I turned on my heel and went back to the spare room, where Cameron was doubled over on the bed.
“What’s so funny?” I spat jokingly.
He’d been laughing, but when he sat up his face was serious and bold. “Do we need a safe word?”
“Well enough,” Cameron answered with a huff as he sat up. He rubbed his face and pushed his hair back before turning to me. “You?”
I sat down beside him as I told him I’d slept deeply. “I was warm, too. You kept pulling me into you,” I added with a smile.
Cameron smiled, though a hint of shyness could be seen on his face. “Not shocking, given what I dreamt of.”
“Which was?”
“Your house, when you were a child.” His voice was quiet, but he met my gaze. “I didn’t go inside, or anything like that,” he added quickly. “I just stood on the street looking at it. Were the shutters red?”
I thought for a moment. “No, they were white,” I answered. “Well, they were grey but they started out white. Why?”
“They were dark red. In my dream, at least.”
I huffed, wondering what that meant. Oftentimes when Cameron dreamt of something, it was or would be significant.
“Is it nearby?” he inquired after a short moment.
I shrugged. “Near Lil’s house, maybe half an hour by car from here.” I could see his mind working, so I kissed his shoulder. “What is it?”
“Might you bring me to see it?” Cameron asked cautiously, but it still surprised me into silence. “But not if you’re uncomfortable with it, Emily,” he added, seeing my face.
“I don’t know why you’d want to see it, that’s all,” I explained slowly. “There’s nothing special, or even good, about it.”
I didn’t have to look at Cameron to know he was searching his mind for the right words, so I waited patiently for him to find them.
“I can’t quite pin it down, if I’m honest,” he admitted. “I feel like I should go see it, even if I don’t need to.”
I nodded resignedly. Even if he didn’t have a sure reason for wanting to see the house, I had even less of one for a refusal. “We could,” I said, accepting defeat. “When, though?”
“I’ll leave that up to you.”
I bit my lip, but decided quickly. “We’ll be at her house tonight, but I’d rather sooner than later. So I don’t have to think about it all day,” I added with a chuckle at my own expense.
I’d worried Cameron with my tone, I found, when he insisted that we didn’t need to go if I didn’t want to. I really didn’t, but I knew I would feel worse later on if I weaseled away from it. Liliane’s house was less than five minutes from Howard Street and we’d be there later; it would be worse to go then.
“No, it’s okay,” I assured him. “You’re right. Maybe we should, even if we don’t need to.”
Before we could take a taxi to Howard Street, Cameron had to ensure everything was arranged for the flight tomorrow. Everyone was returning to Scotland for one month’s rest, other than Lee, Cameron, and myself.
I wasn’t oblivious to how Liliane was with Lee, but I was still surprised when she asked to speak with me privately during last night’s show.
“Is something wrong?”
Liliane avoided my worried look and frowned. “You’re leaving in two days,” she reminded me.
“I know.” I smiled in an attempt to make her feel better, but it didn’t work. “Time flies. Four days isn’t enough.”
“No, it isn’t…” Liliane glanced towards the door, but I knew she was looking through it, seeing the stage in her mind. “Do you think you could stay?” she asked hurriedly. “Only if you can, though, I know it’s not always easy to rearrange things.”
“Aren’t you back at work on Thursday?” I asked.
“I have vacation days,” she told me immediately. “And I’ve got room at the house for you, and Cameron.” Her eyes darted away from mine. “And Lee.”
I laughed, receiving only a glare from my sister. “It’s nice to be proven right,” I explained. “You care about him more than you’ll admit.”
“Stop gloating,” she spat. “Will you ask Cameron?”
I nodded. “I’ll ask him.”
We had managed to set things up to extend our stay by a week, though with some difficulty and under conditions from the band’s management: we were to finance our extra week and return tickets ourselves. With Liliane able to house and feed us it wasn’t an issue, so we agreed and consequently called the airport to reserve three tickets on a flight bound for Scotland on the eighteenth.
Cameron and I were in the taxi, heading over the bridge leading out of the island of Montreal, when he asked about Lee’s reaction to the news. I had informed him of the change of plans this morning, while Cameron was hammering out last minute details.
“Lee? He was thrilled,” I answered with a chuckle. “I’d almost say he was more excited than my sister.”
Cameron shook his head reprovingly. “I’d likely agree with you on that. He walked right up to me and hugged me at breakfast,” he said through a laugh.
“You should have seen his face when he asked me where he’d be sleeping, if you and I were taking the guest room. It was like switching on the light in a cellar.”
I laughed at the memory, but Cameron didn’t have time to reply. The driver pulled to a stop and announced that we’d arrived at the destination, which I’d given as a park on Davis Boulevard. I wanted to demand he take us back to the hotel, but I swallowed my discomfort to instead thank him and hand over the fare.
Cameron looked slightly confused, I noticed, when I turned to him. I knew what he was wondering, so I explained before he could ask. “It’s a few blocks down.”
He nodded and took my hand. “Lead the way,” he said encouragingly.
I smiled at him despite myself and did just that, bringing us within a half dozen houses of mine before I spoke.
“I don’t really know what I should be feeling,” I admitted in a mumble. “I’m not even sure if I’m feeling anything in the first place.”
Cameron squeezed my hand. “Don’t think, then. I’m here, remember?” he smiled. “I’ll think for you.”
I laughed aloud, and felt minutely better. I could see the house, now, but I felt detached from all the memories centered there. We came to a stop on the sidewalk and I noticed the park bench was still there; I’d often sat out here with Mark when I was refused permission to meander around the neighborhood.
“It’s quite nondescript,” Cameron noted.
“You’ve seen it before,” I reminded him. “Although I would have liked to tell you that seeing something in a dream doesn’t really count, apparently it does.”
“Red shutters,” he whispered. He tore his gaze away from the house after a moment and sat down on the bench, pulling me close to him. I knew he was turning his dream over in his mind; he was often just as interested as I was in how accurate he could be at times.
We didn’t speak much. In any case, I didn’t know what I could say while being so close to the house I’d grown up in. After a while, a young teenager on a bicycle came to a stop a few feet away and greeted us in French.
“Do you live at 1727?” he asked, pointing to the neighboring home.
I glanced over to it, briefly remembering the inhabitants I’d known. “No,” I said with a shake of my head.
The boy let out an exaggerated sigh, so I asked what the problem was. “I have a book for Mrs. Henderson, but she didn’t answer when I came by earlier. Do you know her?”
“I used to.”
“Do you think you could give this to her? I have to go see my brother.” The boy handed me a thick magazine with a ball of yarn pictured on the cover. “It’s from my mom, Louise.”
“I’ll let her know,” I assured him.
The boy thanked me and got back on his bike, quickly gaining the speed that led him out of sight.
“What’s that?” Cameron asked, his eyebrows raised.
I’d momentarily forgotten that Cameron had little notion of French, and explained the conversation to him. He nodded and urged me to knock on her door. “She’d be happy to see you, if she was your neighbour then,” he encouraged.
I stood with a sigh. “Only one way to find out.”
Cameron followed me as I made my way up the path to Mrs. Henderson’s front door. It took her a long minute to answer, which she did by pulling back the curtain on the door’s small window. Since her husband died five years ago, she’d become more wary of visitors but was always welcoming to those she knew.
“Emily!” she exclaimed as the door opened. “My goodness, what brings you here?” She smiled sweetly at me and took my hand in hers, squeezing gently.
I handed her the magazine with a smile. “Louise’s son came by with this for you.”
She took it from me, and promptly rolled it into a tube and smacked my arm. “Don’t be smart with me,” she warned teasingly. “Your sister told me you’d left the country, last I spoke with her.”
“I did. I live in Scotland now,” I answered with a glance at Cameron. “We’re only here for about a week, so Cameron and his group can do a performance downtown.”
“How lovely! Kathleen would be so happy for you, Emily. She loved you dearly, and she loved Scotland, as well.” Mrs Henderson’s eyes flickered with regret and she frowned as she spoke. “I’m very sorry to have missed her funeral, dear. I was in Ottawa with my niece and her family, and I didn’t return until June.”
“It’s alright, Mrs. Henderson. Gran wouldn’t hold it against you, and neither do I and Liliane,” I assured her with a smile.
“Thank you, dear. Is your sister still living in that bungalow on Landry?”
I nodded. “Yes, she’s still there. Cameron and I will be staying with her until the weekend,” I informed her, “if you ever want to stop by for a coffee.”
Mrs. Henderson thanked me for the invitation, and I politely declined her offer of tea for myself and Cameron. I told her that we had to head back downtown and ready everything for the performance, which she heartily agreed was important. We bid her goodbye and I silently thanked the cosmos that she hadn’t asked what the performance would be.
Liliane’s skin was flushed red as the band rushed back onto the stage for the final encore. Lee, quite obviously, was the reason for this; he’d come off the stage, drank a glass of water followed by a shot of whiskey, and kissed her until the encore call was shouted.
"Where the hell did that come from?" she mumbled eventually.
"I'd say he's excited to be spending the night," I said with a wink. I walked over to the table covered in bottles and poured myself a glass of wine.
Liliane followed me and did the same. "Still, I wasn't expecting that," she admitted.
I looked at her with a raised eyebrow and a dubious expression. "You tied up your hair earlier and he nearly had to cross his legs," I reminded her. She hissed my name angrily, which made me laugh. "What? You don't want to sleep with him?"
"Of course I do," she muttered shyly. I could tell from her face that not only did she want to but she already had. "I just don't—"
"Are you going to let yourself be miserable because you're afraid?" I asked. I realized once I'd spoken that my tone was harsher than I'd intended, so I softened it. "You're thinking too much, Lil, and your track record with overthinking isn't the best. Let yourself be happy," I told her firmly. "It's the least you can for yourself."
We didn't speak much, after that, but stood watching the band. The final song was coming to an end, and I shared the mixed feelings behind the band's driving finish. We'd been travelling from city to city since August, but this was only the halfway point, if that. We still had Europe ahead of us.
Luckily, the band's exhilaration seeped into my mind and I forgot about the second leg of the tour, instead popping a champagne bottle and loudly proclaiming the end to a successful venture.
It was near midnight when we all got to the hotel. We had reiterated, when making the plans for the extended stay, that the rest of the band was welcome to join us, but the thought of spending their time off away from home wasn't appealing to Willie, Dale, or Colin.
I called the reception desk from our room, where everyone had convened to part ways, and asked for a taxi to be called. This first taxi would bring Lee and my sister to her house ahead of Cameron and I, and once they’d said goodbye— my sister hugged the three men and told them to enjoy the time off but Lee shook their hands without much added fuss— left with their luggage, we were left to coordinate.
“You all have the house number?” I asked again. I knew they did, I’d written Liliane’s phone number in each of their journals myself. The three of them nodded and I did the same. “Call if there’s anything, we’re leaving Thursday morning.”
Dale gave me a thumbs up and hugged me. “Don’t get into too much trouble, Emily,” he teased.
“Look who’s talking!” I retorted with a laugh. “Have a good flight home, and we’ll see you next week.”
With that, Dale shook hands with Cameron and left us, walking off towards his own room. I had no doubt he’d go right to bed; he always struggled to sleep once onboard a plane. When Cameron began to speak with Willie, I sat down on the edge of the bed and beckoned Colin to join me.
“Well, you survived the first leg, Colin,” I said to him, my tone congratulatory. “You did a great job.”
He smiled shyly. “Thank you. It wasn’t like I thought it would be,” he admitted. “Being away from home for so many months has been a little odd, usually I’m not gone for more than six weeks.”
It had been four months since we’d left Scotland, and I knew the emotions he was facing; I’d dealt with them myself last year. “You’ll be home and settled in two days’ time,” I reminded him, hoping it was a comfort. “You’re still staying in Balmedie at Lee’s house, right?”
Colin nodded. “Thankfully, yes,” he chuckled.
I paused, wondering whether or not to ask, but Colin didn’t notice my hesitation. “Would you be able to do me a favour?” I blurted out.
“As long as it’s less complicated than that,” he replied with a nod towards Cameron. He was giving Willie detailed instructions to bring our mail— currently being held at the Aberdeen post office— to Joan’s house, and to inform her of our delayed arrival.
“It’s much less complicated,” I assured him, laughing. “Do you remember Steve, from the recording? Steve Todd,” I added, hoping the name was familiar to him.
Colin’s brow furrowed as he thought, and his eyes widened when he spoke. “Yes, I do! He was drumming during the switch to me, wasn’t he?”
I kept thoughts of Clyde, and his wife, Sylvia, at bay. It wasn’t the moment to delve back into the mess that had brought Coin to us. “That’s him,” I confirmed. “I’ve been wondering about him for a bit, and I sent him a letter a few weeks ago to say that I’d drop by this weekend,” I explained.
Colin nodded, understanding. “But you won’t be back for another week.”
“Yes. Could you give him a call and let him know? I’d send a letter but I’m sure we’d arrive before it would, and I don’t want to be a no-show without telling him.”
There was no hesitation in Colin’s accepting my request, and I thanked him for it. I copied Steve’s home number onto a page in my journal, which I promptly ripped out and handed to him, just as Cameron and Willie ended their discussion.
“Have a safe flight, and call if there’s anything,” Cameron repeated as the two of them walked into the hall. “We’ll be off within the hour.”
We sat in the sunroom; it was only Cameron and I, so we claimed the wicker loveseat. The taxi had dropped us off ten minutes ago but we delayed going inside the house, either for another moment of solitude between us or an attempt at privacy for Lee and Liliane. Maybe both, come to think of it.
“Are you disappointed?” I asked quietly.
Cameron looked at me quizzically. “What would I be disappointed about?”
I shrugged, trying to diminish the question. “I guess I thought you’d want to celebrate. Not just you, but everyone,” I added quickly. “First part of the tour is over, the first time on this side of the ocean…”
I wasn’t sure what I could say without sounding foolish. I’d felt a slight rumble of distaste more than once recently, but I wasn’t sure what it was about or who was feeling it.
Cameron took my hand in his and kissed the back of my hand. “It’s more like precaution, rather than not wanting to celebrate. If you get too cocky and self-important, you might make a fool of yourself next time you’re on stage,” he elaborated. “We’ve still got Europe, after all. I’m sure we’ll have a fitting party when that’s all said and done.”
I nodded slowly, and looked at Cameron when he said my name quietly.
“Don’t fret over it, sweetheart. Colin’s too nice to be peeved over it, but the other two have no issue throwing daggers with their eyes,” he muttered. “I think seeing Lee float with happiness is a little too much for them.”
“It’s both of them?” I wondered, but shook my head. “Doesn’t matter.”
“No, it doesn’t. Because he is happy, and so is your sister.”
I smiled, and my backstage conversation with Liliane came to mind. “I told her to stop making herself miserable, while you guys were playing,” I told him in a whisper. “She’s been alone for too long. I hope she’ll listen to me.”
Though my tone was solemn, Cameron put his hand on my cheek and kissed me. “Let’s go inside and find out,” he suggested.
After two hours of chatting and nearly a dozen cups of tea between the four of us, Liliane was the first to succumb to fatigue. We had no plans for concrete tomorrow so she warned me against waking her up before nine o’clock. She wrangled me into promising her I wouldn’t, then went to her bedroom with Lee.
Cameron yawned, his eyes shut tight and his shirt lifting an inch to expose his stomach. I took advantage and lightly dragged my finger across his skin, just below his navel. His eyes snapped open and he raised an eyebrow.
“You can’t be indecent around me and not expect me to do something about it,” I explained defensively. “Let’s go sleep,” I added, my tone clearly expressing my longing for a warm bed.
Without a word, Cameron took my hand and led me down the hallway. Liliane had given him the tour when we arrived, and though it was only a one storey house, he had committed it to memory. We changed into pyjamas in silence but as I crawled into bed, Cameron suggested we turn the radio on at a low volume.
“I don’t want to sleep just yet,” he murmured in explanation.
I agreed; quiet music didn’t bother me even if I was trying to sleep. The bed was freshly made and the sheets smelled of laundry detergent, which mixed well with Cameron’s own smell— thankfully, he’d showered earlier, as had Lee.
We’d only spoken a few sentences in hushed tones, pausing at times to listen to a verse on the radio, when my sister’s loud chortle overtook our own words. I raised an eyebrow at Cameron, and he clearly was thinking the same thing as I was. She laughed again, and Lee’s guffaw made an entrance.
“Wanna see something?” I asked, though I didn’t want for his reply. I got out of bed and walked into the hallway, leaving the bedroom door open so he could hear me. Liliane’s room was at the end of the hall, on the opposite side. I knocked loudly on her door and feigned worry. “Are you guys okay?”
Silence, then my sister’s stern tone. “Yes.”
“Do you need anything?” I inquired, my face close to the door frame. “A snack, refreshments? Condoms?”
“Emily. Leave us alone,” Liliane spat.
I held back laughter and increased my faked wariness. “It’s the alone part that I’m worried about, Lil!”
“Emily.” My sister’s tone was hard as steel. “Go. Away.”
I sighed exaggeratedly. “Alright,” I said, then brought back the whining worry. “Do you need a safe word, though? It’s always a good idea to have one!” I spoke in a flurry of words, but I did hear Cameron’s subdued laughter from the other room. “I’d suggest pineapple, you know, not too many reasons to be talking about pineap—”
Liliane interrupted me, a furious hiss. “I will maim you!”
I let out a short laugh and sighed again. “Good night, then!” I turned on my heel and went back to the spare room, where Cameron was doubled over on the bed.
“What’s so funny?” I spat jokingly.
He’d been laughing, but when he sat up his face was serious and bold. “Do we need a safe word?”
Safe word! Cameron is so swewt to want to see her old house. Liliana is so sweet and nervous.
ReplyDeleteCameron is genuinely interested in knowing about Emily's past, so he can comfort and understand her when she's having difficulty; he's a honey. As for Liliane, we know she is worrying needlessly, but, when has that knowledge ever quelled a worry?!
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